i like kat. shes cute. shes got very good taste. shes strong shes talented. she wont call her parents for money and she wont work. so what? so just what am i supposed to do. my job situation is slow but it will work out. i pay the rent. what about everything. i understand her not wanting a sleazoid job. neither do i. but stilll........i think i gave her the traditional blueprint of what a fucked up youth should be. i think i sort of contributed and helped to shape that blue print. it has always exsisted ofcorse, youth should generally be loud and fucked up. or i usellally dont talk to them. unless they are quiet and fucked up. in which case they are even better.linear thinking dose not come naturally to me, moreover it kills me and my imagination. nothing happens. no bell rings. no moment of here and now.
without those moments i am not alive, and so rather than driving at a goal
i like so much better to go through a spiral. rabitx